Silly / Absurd

#92 · Poke someone annoying

When words fail, a gentle chopstick prod to the shoulder conveys the message with surgical precision. Very mature.

Reader, do not do this. Poking is unkind, mildly assaultive, and beneath you. It appears here purely for completeness, because a list of 101 uses that omitted the most obvious misuse of a chopstick would be a dishonest list.

Why it works

A chopstick is long enough to reach a colleague from the next desk without leaving your chair, and that is exactly the problem. The distance makes it feel like a lesser act than reaching over and prodding someone with a finger. It isn't. Put it down.

Tips & warnings

• Really, don't.
• There are a great many better ways to communicate displeasure, most of them involving words.
• If you are the one being poked with a chopstick, a firm and specific request to stop is entirely reasonable.